We all have a past and we’ve all experienced trauma of varying degrees. Working through an upheaval gives us hope of a better future … “Acceptance is giving up hope of a better past.” We don’t always know when we’ll be triggered or what the triggers will be. They don’t come with a warning label. And … More Trigger Point
Inner Demon. Inherent Villain. Familiar Fiend. Self-loathing ever present for the physical self. Efforts to renovate my physical being in vain. Strong enough, Never. Thin enough, Forget it. Tan enough, At no time. Sexy enough, Not in the least. Mirror full of hateful critique … Never good enough. My own Assassin. Demons ever present … though self campaign brings small victories. Learning … More Learning Love
There is a quote that I think of often as the mother of a young child: “Be careful how you speak to your children, one day it will become their inner voice.” I think about this regularly, especially when my little boy is pushing my buttons. Regardless of how angry he can make me, nothing … More My Inner Voice
In repose, Behemoth awaits dispute. Judgment on meals excited him. Observations on weight loss fuel him. Opinions on pounds gained disturb him. Provoked, he attacks my innermost thoughts. Help me hide from Behemoth. Criticize me not when I deteriorate. Words can be blades or sentiments. To help me live or succumb.
(Originally written: 03-15-2010) I dove into the lake. It was winter and the majority of the lake was covered in ice and the surrounding areas in snow. But I was a risk taker and dove in despite the warning signs posted in numerous places around the small lake. I had always assumed such dangers never … More Drowning
Kitchen nightmares a daily routine. Cupboards filled with empty calories. Food encased in anxiety, I’d rather be hungry. No good options Frustration ensues. Walking in circles Fridge, cupboard, fridge. I’d rather sleep hungry. Blood sugar drops Infuriation grabs hold. Irritable tears fight Angry thoughts. I’d rather be hungry. Guilt over rides. I want to be … More Kitchen Nightmares.
Presented with the grocery store door, anxiety awaits on the far side. It waits for you to take that one step inside before completely consuming your whole being. Deep breaths struggle to calm nerves. Gently you approach shelves, scouring for something acceptable. Numbers jump out, flooding your mind. Calories, fat, protein, carbohydrates, you avert your … More Food Fought Chaos
Something so simple. A smile. Reaching ear to ear, gleaming eye to gleaming eye. Something so simple. A laugh. Hardy and uncontrolled. Something so simple. A hug. Sincere and unconditional. Something so simple. A tear. Vulnerable. Open. True. Something so simple. A friend. Loving. Supportive. Real.
I haven’t written much since my son was born. Lately I have been getting that urge to write again. So here we are. My favorite genres are short stories and poetry. I love trying to fit as much description into a sentence as possible. I want you to feel what I’m feeling. Enjoy 🙂